FOOD for THOUGHT
September 10, 2018
By Connie Bierkan
HOW TO COPE WITH FEELINGS— Your Own, or Another’s
By Dr. Michael Hurd
Feelings don’t last. Feelings always leave. And that’s a good thing. That’s how you cope with feelings — your own, or another’s. Feelings are not necessarily facts. Feelings can have little, none or total objective validity. But even when feelings are valid, and consistent with facts, their intensity wanes. Thinking gradually takes over. You do not need to repress your feelings. Let yourself feel them. Just don’t act on them right away. Let them go through you. Let the thinking re-engage when it’s ready. And consider action only once you can think again. It’s how you cope with your own feelings — but also another’s. I’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t listen too hard.” I take this to mean: Don’t react to another’s feelings as if those feelings have subsided. Give your loved one a chance to feel his or her feelings, and have them subside before taking too much too seriously. Focus instead on listening — but also keeping in mind that feelings subside, and most people expect you to know it.
Feelings fade. Always remember that.